09.WhatSay.Self.SW.WDC.28nov05 : 無料・フリー素材/写真
09.WhatSay.Self.SW.WDC.28nov05 / Elvert Barnes
| ライセンス | クリエイティブ・コモンズ 表示 2.1 |
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| 説明 | 'If What I Say Is True'Photographic Exhibition and Spoken Word ProjectElvert Xavier Barnes Photography . Writings . Ads__________________Self-portrait . 1301 Bedroom . SW WDC . Monday evening, 28 November 2005 @ 8 PM"... what ..."__________________________Thoiugh this picture was taken in my apartment in Washingtonb DC on the night of 28 November 2005 it represents an artistic expression of a conversation that I had with the individual that I refer to as 'my other.' I use the phrase 'other' because he does not regard us as partners, yet, I being a gay black man and he being a white man as a result of the relationship that we hve had, over the years, will forever bond us together ... for eternity. And long after we both have passed on.And even if I now wished to engage in any relationship with another person or several others, he being a white man, and I being a black man, will still have the ability to influence, impact and affect every aspect of any relationship that I have had, will have and every hope to have, in the future.It is ... as simple yet complicated ... as that.Published at www.goodreads.com/author_blog_posts/4016495-the-only-thin...Fears? I can honestly say that I have no fears. And few, if any phobias. And I find the people often miscontrue and mistake and mistate the issues of fears and phobias.For example, I had a discussion with my younger brother regarding the issue of racsim that I, as a gay black man, have expereinced in sharp contrast to that of my whiote counter part. And when I say counter part I mean white lover. White other.In the conversation I would shed light on the fact it was one thing for those whom I did not know or who did not know me and had had no relationship with to feel what they do about me, a black man, but it is a horse of a different color when the white men that I have had intimate relationships with say one thing and do or be just the oppossite and/or exhibit racist attitudes or practice racism towards me ... causing me harm.He would say that racsim is based on fear. And, according to him and man y others, as is homophobia.I would slmost shot back "Racsim is not about fear. Nor is that term homophobia an accurate term.I would then say "If I were to use my life and relationships as exmaples these people had no fear of me. Nor of what I did, do or be or have ever done to them. If they were so afraid of me why in Gods name would they have slept with me? Invite me in their whoms and shared what we shared?What were they afraid of? Certainly, not of me. They had no phobia in pertaining to me. Nor peretaining to any relationship that they had with other black men.I would then say "It was about power. And often hate. Not love nor respect for."Racism is not about fear. What some refer to as homophobia has noting to do with fear.And though regard myself as having fear of nothing, on the drive back from Fort Lauderdale to WDC what fueled the conversation that my other and I had had was the fact that my concerns had all come true. With that realization I, rhetorically, would ask "If what I say is true ...".Before departing for the trip down to Fort Lauderdale I was concerend that on the way down he would do what he had done before when driving or traveling on trips near and far. Just as would be the case with with had occured the days before leaving. And, at every step along the way, I was deceived.So, after almost a month but more than a decade of the same 'untruths' and as I tried to explain to him that as a gay black man for so many white men to have engaged in the same relationship with me when all is said and done I will have nothing left, sionce their relatinhsips were rooted in lies and deceptions.And as I now write this text, reflecting on the group www.flickr.com/groups/fears/ what stands out in my mind is that "... if what I say is true ...' then most of what said to or about me was a lie my fear but concern is that everything that I have worked for love, lived and nutrued wwill yeild nothing. And even less.Racsim has noting to do with fear.This represents my first subission to www.flickr.com/groups/fears/.If you were me, or I were you ... what you?In aswering that question, remember what I said "I fear nothing. Nor anyone."Several members of my family including my mother and a sister have phobias about being elevators, on escalotors, being in large crowds, etc. And whilee I, of coruse, understand that such phobias do exist I have not such phobias and I now have come to understand that, in many cases, some of the phobias or what some reft to as phobais that afro ameraicans who are descendants of negroes who were enslaved are more resultants of racism.Foir example, many balck men, even now have concerns about traveling or drivning in cars. Though in my early years I would drive and travel whereve I so pleased when my other suggests to me that I could drive his car in Fort Lauderdale, when refelect on the relationshiip that we have had, the expereinces that I have had and the truth regarding the trips that he takes with me I will remind him ''... if I were to drive his car, in Miami or in Fort Lauderdale more than likely as a direct result of the relationship that we have which is rooted in decptions I would be stopped. Just as when we travel together by plane and train I am, regarded as a suspect. He is not.. So, he will misstate my reaction as a phobia or paranoia. It is neither a phobia, nor paranoia. And certainly not fear.I fear no one nor anthing. However, the cops would stop me for the exact same reasons that most white men have associated with me. In fact, it is connected.So, if I allowed phobias, fears or racsim to affect me I would not have travelled to Fort Lauderdale with my other. And what is important was and is at every step along the way whbat stopped, deterred or affected me.Racsim rooted in lies and decption. And power.Racsim ain't got shit to do with fear. Fear ain't got shit to do with racism or bigotry.If what I say is true ... |
| 撮影日 | 2005-11-29 05:27:09 |
| 撮影者 | Elvert Barnes , Silver Spring MD, USA |
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